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My GF texting me this
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Go home, you are drunk
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Trial version is over, would you like to buy the full version? How about no.
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This heater
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Don't p*ss me off then tell me to calm down.
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Jesus painting costume
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I must go, my planet needs me
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If you let your family know you're good with computers
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Opera cat
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Really cute story
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My wife is pregnant
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My pen is huge, T-shirt