Bad luck Brian has a pet rock
Miley Cyrus vs. Unknown man
Accident in the mall. I quit.
Thongs
Sleeping under the sea
Don't lick the chocolate frogs
For a moment, I couldn't figure out how to leave the bathroom.
I'm a nonviolent person until I see a spider
Love letters
Evil raccoon
Driver's license
Voting: like being able to choose which bullet you'd prefer to be shot in the head with