Love letters
For a moment, I couldn't figure out how to leave the bathroom.
Evil raccoon
Accident in the mall. I quit.
Voting: like being able to choose which bullet you'd prefer to be shot in the head with
Miley Cyrus vs. Unknown man
Thongs
Driver's license
Bad luck Brian has a pet rock
Don't lick the chocolate frogs
Sleeping under the sea
I'm a nonviolent person until I see a spider